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Letter to Daughters-In-Law

Expensive African Daughter-in-law,


I wish a happy and life enduring marital union. I wish a fruitful union blessed along with children, grand and excellent grand children. I pray how the ugly word ‘divorce’ won’t appear in your relationship dictionary in Jesus title, amen.

My message to you is dependant on the conflict often happening between many wives as well as their mothers-in-law. Very few wives have ever said good stuff about a mother-in-law. This has given me much concern through the years. Today’s daughter-in-law will soon metamorphose right into a mother-in-law. Is this conflict a vicious circle because it has existed for hundreds of years?

I want you to obtain some facts clear that will help you enjoy your marriage and relationship together with your in-laws better. I am writing like a neutral observer not getting sides with any celebration. I understand that you will find 3 parties to the actual conflict – husband, wife and mother-in-law who’ve various roles in the actual crisis.

In our conventional African society, a woman who marries a guy marries him along with all the family i. e. the entire extended family. She becomes a wife to everyone and not the guy alone. Many wives possess a ‘me & my spouse alone’ orientation. That may work in Europe but definitely not in marriages in a good African setting. Please observe this important factor.

The Scriptures within the Book of Exodus 20: 12 states, ‘Honour thy father as well as thy mother’. Your parents in this case are not only your biological parents but additionally include your in-laws like the mother-in-law who are mother or father figures. Therefore, you are required to honour her as your personal mother, respect and adore her. This will show you have a good upbringing as well as good manners.

One point among many spinsters is actually their pre-conceived notion which mothers-in-law are evil. With this particular notion, they came into marriage having a mindset prepared for battle to maintain the mother-in-law in the woman’s ‘place’. With this faulty way of thinking they dug the grave of the own marriage with their very own hands, from the inception from the marriage.

A wife who makes marriage with a hostile attitude won’t ever see anything good in such a mother-in-law says or will. Some mothers-in-law have good intentions borne from an emotional concern for that welfare of her boy. Her actions would be misinterpreted like a poke nosy attitude through her hostile daughter-in-law therefore igniting battles which might have been avoided.

Many women also have expressed their wish how the mother-in-law die before these people marry her son. That’s an evil thought that may boomerang. Wishing that the mother die before the woman’s God ordained time? Wishing that the mother should not benefit from the fruit of her your time over her children? In case your future daughter-in-law wishes you untimely death and also you knew, how would you are feeling?

Some wives have the idea that they’ll send packing a mother-in-law that troubles them. How may this be? If you need to do that, do you think another in-laws would fold their own arms and absorb the humiliation of one of these? They will support her even though she is in the wrong and how could you survive there? That means the marriage could become just like doomed.

Many sons are enthusiastic about their mothers with no son in his right senses might find his mother being trashed by his wife as well as remain silent. Many spouses who foolishly used conflict against their in-laws particularly their mothers-in-law regretted this.

There are two unfailing spiritual laws – what the law states of seed time as well as harvest in Genesis 8: 22 and also the law of sowing as well as reaping in Galatians 6: 7. Should you sow love into your own in-laws, no matter how difficult they might be, you will certainly enjoy it.

No matter how overbearing your mother-in-law might be, endeavor to show her love and also to the other in-laws. Most of them will eventually see a person in good light and be your friend. When event demands, they will fight your battles for you personally. Maintain cordial relations with your in-laws all the time. It is your obligation.

Proverbs 14: 1 says that ‘a sensible woman builds her house however the foolish plucks it lower with her hands’. Wisdom is important in your relationship together with your husband and the in-laws. Knowledge, not confrontation, is among the keys to achieve marriage in an Africa setting.

One thing is essential and some wives go for granted. Ensure that you simply perform your wife and helpmate roles for your husband to the best of the ability. Take note how the mother-in-law is in the backdrop watching. If she notices that you’re maltreating her son, she’ll come running to their aid.

This is borne from a natural, emotional issue for his welfare. Should this happen, that means you asked a sleeping trouble on your own. Ensure you do your very best to satisfy your spouse with everything and within everything. That will help to keep his mother’s mind at rest and away.

Do your best for the mother-in-law. Be her buddy, wash her clothes, and cook on her. Do her hairs, buy gifts on her, give her money. Perform with her, accommodate as well as tolerate her, even the woman’s excess. Yes, she might be naughty at times. Ask God for that grace to endure and keep in mind that one day, you will even become a mother-in-law and could become naughty too. In the event that she blesses you through her heart, your children will reap from this.

Lastly, let the Gold Rule in Matthew 7: 12 be your guide inside your relationship with your in-laws as well as your husband as well. The actual rule says, ‘therefore everything you would that men must do to you, do you nevertheless to them: for this is actually the law and the prophets. a

And be prayerful. You’ve many prayers to pray but always range from the following:

‘O God, give me and my hubby the grace to develop a blissful marriage and to boost godly children in the actual name of Jesus. a

‘O God, grant me and my hubby the wisdom to consider good and godly decisions within our marriage in Jesus title. ‘

‘O God let your peace reign during my marriage in Jesus name’

‘O God allow sexual desire and fantasies of my hubby always be toward me and never any other woman. We bind the spirit associated with lust and immorality within his life in Christ name. ‘

I have written a letter for your mother-in-law giving suggestions that may enhance more cordial relationships henceforth. I am also writing a letter for your husband who is at the middle of the crisis. Many partners have allowed the turmoil to deteriorate through reckless handling. They are often confused being unsure of where to turn being taken in different directions.

I think that if each party within the crisis abides by the suggestions directed at them, the mother-in-law versus daughter-in-law conflict within our society would be reduced towards the barest minimum.

The writer, Ayodele Adegbulugbe, a Nigerian is really a Christian writer and Minister from the Gospel whose writing amenities are



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